Obviously, I’m writing this to process my own feelings about my decision. But also, as part of my general belief that taking the unconventional path is okay, too, I’m writing this to document my thoughts for the unlikely someone who, too, is travelling the road less travelled. Hopefully, there’s some value in this.

I’ve decided to drop my second degree in economics

It’s a funny thing studying a double degree. Opening conversations often include a moment of confusion when they realize I’m in my fourth year, but also somehow still not graduating. You can almost see them trying to work out if some weird combination of NS, poly/JC/international school could somehow have led to this (you know that meme with the lady calculating stuff in her head?). Sometimes I also throw in the fact that I’m 23 (I’m male, and did not do NS, for context) just to see how they react, and sometimes it’s pretty funny. I’ve always laughed it off though, because it’s just a funny quirk of doing a double degree.

Today, though, I made a new acquaintance. And for the first time in four years, my explanation was simply that I’m taking a little longer to graduate. It feels strange.

Why I wanted a second degree in economics

The first line on Wikipedia defines the field to be “a social science that studies the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services.”

I agree more with the second line, though - “Economics focuses on the behaviour and interactions of economic agents and how economies work.”

I’ve always understood Economics to be the study of how things interact at scale. Micro, macro and metrics are the umbrella fields that respectively study how systems operate at the level of markets, how they do so at the level of economies (many markets aggregated) and how we can confirm these theories empirically. Utility maximisation, risk sharing schemes, game theory, the 134807340 regressions we learn - are all just different ways of trying to understand why people behave the way they do. And for that reason, I find economics fascinating and comforting, because it serves as my lens to understand what often feels like a very chaotic world.

But beyond understanding how things worked for its practicalities, I also wanted to study economics to understand how the systems around me worked and failed. At 18, it felt like a lot of things were wrong with the world and I wanted to do my part fixing it. I felt like I had the drive and energy to do something good, in no small part probably fueled by youthful idealism. But also, at the young age of 18, the world felt noisy, chaotic and overwhelming, and I wanted a way to study it systematically. Coming across economics at JC felt exactly like what I wanted.

Things have changed, though

Anyone who hears me talk about my work these days, though, will probably hear a lot about machine learning, backend engineering, something I’m working on in my research, some cool algorithm or theorem or proof I came across. It is very unlikely one would hear me talk about anything I learnt in economics. And perhaps that’s precisely reflective of where I’m at these days, and where I’m headed.

Perhaps as it is with everyone “going through uni”, I’ve hit a few milestones that have changed where I see myself headed and what I care about. Where I was once deeply driven to join the public service and almost (idealistically) prepared to sacrifice a lot in service of that goal, I find myself much more pragmatic and focused these days. It’s not quite the firey mantra of “I want to do good work” as it is more of “this is pretty neat, I enjoy it, and it pays me pretty okay, so let’s do that”. Having a partner who I’m serious about also makes me conscious of where I’m putting my time and energies.

In truth, this is a decision that I’ve been kicking down the road for a while, and I’ve reached the point where I can’t do so anymore. Every semester, my friends will attest to me saying the phrase “I feel like I’ve found my limit this semester”. That’s in part because I almost always have some “thing” going on, like being a TA or doing research, but it’s largely because taking 6-7 classes a semester - a natural byproduct of studying a double degree - isn’t easy. Well, at least, I don’t find it easy. Every semester since 2021 I’ve questioned my own motivations in reading a second degree and the feasibility of my study plan that apparently entails 225 MCs despite going on exchange (where typically, you’re forced to underload). But everytime after the semester ends, I go “well, I’ll decide when I have to”.

I’m now at the point where I have to decide, because I have a few opportunities I’ve fortunately been presented with, but I literally cannot find it in me to take on all of them. I’m currently on exchange at ETH Zurich, which does not offer economics modules. I was also fortunately offered internship positions at Palantir and Apple. I see enough value in all three of these experiences - professionally and personally - to want all of these. But something has to give - because having another internship and completing another 37MCs (of which 12 is my FYP) in the next year, while working for 6 months of that year, is a no-no.

And for me, it’s my second degree in economics, because it unfortunately gives me no value beyond “this is fun to study”. I enjoy studying both my degrees. But studying CS has also given me a set of skills and fortunate opportunities to build stuff - things that interface with other things, every day, every moment, to do things. My pursuit of economics hasn’t quite borne the same fruit - I suppose neither could I or should I have expected it to; I’ve just realized that the fruit I want to pursue is knowing how to build stuff.

Sunk cost fallacy is hard and here’s my way of dealing with it

A great barrier to making this choice for a while, beyond obviously losing the opportunity to study something I like, is sunk cost fallacy. And I’m sure anyone who’s put their heart into the pursuit of a goal can understand the feeling of bitterness that comes with having to give it up. “I’ve studied so hard for this, and I’m so close” has kept me going more than I can count. It sounds silly to say it out loud, though.

Inspired by my partner, I decided to look back on 1. just how close I am and 2. how hard I’ve studied for this.

1. How close am I?

If I wanted a second honours degree, I’d be 6 classes and a thesis away. Without honours, it’d be 4 classes. That’s a lot of classes for 2 semesters with my CS courses, much less for 1 semester (if I don’t extend my candidature and LOA to work at Apple). So, I’m not that close. Okay.

2. How hard have I studied for this?

The easiest thing to look at is how much time I’ve spent on it, and a good proxy is the number of courses I’ve completed.

In my time at NUS, I’ve taken 47 courses. Only 9 of which have been economics-specific. If you count the math modules, that’s another 3 classes. So that’s a total of 12. The 9 are:

• EC1101E Introduction to economic analysis
• EC2101 Microeconomics 1
• EC2102 Macroeconomics 1
• EC2204 Accounting for economists
• EC3101 Microeconomics 2
• EC3102 Macroeconomics 2
• EC3303 Econometrics 1
• EC3304 Econometrics 2
• EC3333 Financial economics 1

In comparison, I’ve taken 8 (11 if you count math) mechanical engineering classes, and a whopping 17 CS courses (21 if you count math).

While I’ve definitely invested a non-trivial amount of time into it - I’ve completed enough classes to complete a second major - it’s hard to call myself a double degree student, right?

And going a step further to look at my semester schedules in the last four years, it becomes apparent to me that I’ve very slowly - like the frog that boils in gradually-getting-hotter water without realizing - been letting go of that pipe dream of being a civil servant that did some really good and meaningful work, because I’ve invested most of my time and energies studying computer science. To say that I’ve decided to drop my pursuit of a degree in economics isn’t quite accurate, because if you look at what I did and not what I or my records said, I’ve actually kinda already dropped it. It’s almost like I (unknowingly) quiet quit economics a while back.

That said, 9 courses is not something to laugh at - it’s enough to complete a second major in economics after all. I’ve studied enough of it to give me a rudimentary appreciation for how things work, some useful mental models to think about the world around me, and I’d like to think I will not sound like a complete idiot to the average person (but I probably would sound like an idiot to any real economist out there). And perhaps, that has to be enough.

So, what now?

Well, tomorrow, I send the email to the department to officially drop my second degree. I doubt I’ll feel significantly different. But, I already feel lighter at the thought of having only my FYP to worry about in my last semester, and I feel at peace with this choice - especially because it feels like I can now whole-ass one thing, rather than half-ass two things. I think it’s the right choice. If it’s not, I guess I’ll find out.

In the meantime, I continue with my studies on exchange at ETH, and very soon I’ll be headed to London on an exciting next chapter :-)